Creation of the Batmobile

In response to the current “Evolution of the batmobile” picture that has been making it’s rounds I present to you the creationisim take on the matter.

From the book of Kane 27:19-39

And here we witness the coming of the bat, and in it’s wake a trail of broken glass.
Bruce Wayne starered at the figure, one of terror and shadow, but he knew that it was good.
And the bat begat it’s name, and Bruce Wayne took it upon himself.
Bruce rang the little bell.
And thus the coming of Alfred, as it was fortold.
And lo Batman sat, as he was truly Batman now and no longer Bruce Wayne.
“Why Alfred, why have my parents gone?”
And Alfred did console him, and bring him soup, and this soup was cold, but it was good.
And Batman bemoaned his fate, and tore upon his clothes, and cast doubt upon the plan.
Loss and Fear were upon him, and pain filled him as it’s rightous vessle.

From inside he brought forth the pain, and cast it upon the city, as a fisherman casts his net.
But the good the few and rightious fell between the ropes, and they were spared.
And thus begat Gordon, and he begat the light.
Batman saw the light, and knew of superstition and the role of cowards.
He was vengence, he was the night.
But it came to pass that Wayne manor, for Batman was inside still Bruce Wayne, was situatied too far outside the city.
But still in proper jurisdiction to be called a house of Gotham.
Batman, though possessing wings, was limited in his scope; crime fell from his purple grasp.
“Why Lord, did you take my parents? You hath left me only pain, and rage. I am the night.”
And a light shone, and a device that made the bat mobile appeared before him and it was good.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Creation of the Batmobile

  1. Very likly, as Batman is, sadly, becoming very over hyped. As example: his write up in the new DC Adventures RPG i’m running has him as nearly unstoppable. To use D&D terms he can ‘take ten’ when attacking lowlevel villains. So we have taken to calling him ‘the bat-god’.

    Also, there is a picture going around showing the concept of the batmobile as it evolved through the ages. Some one joked that we needed equal time to hear the topic from the creationism side so I wrote this.

    The same guy asked for permission to repost it and I agreed. I would love for this to make some sort of rounds, and hopefully one day “Bruce rang the little bell” will be on T-shirts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s